Irene rolled through here during the last half of yesterday and over night. As I’m typing this, the rain is lessening outside and emails from friends checking in are coming in. Two natural disasters in one week (the earthquake and the storm) reminded me that sometimes all you can do is make the necessary preparations ahead of time and then ride it out.
photo credit: theperplexingparadox
Speaking of riding things out, school starts for me on Wednesday. This will be my third (and last) fall semester and most of my summer to do list didn’t get done. Instead, I’ll spend the next few days and weeks making the necessary preparations (cleaning house, doing laundry, sleeping) so that when project start becoming due, all I have to do is work on them and ride it out.
It’s been a trying summer.
It’s been a trying year (thus far).
Three colds + bad allergies + injured leg + getting laid off from work + getting new job + graduate school + part time job stuff + Lucky’s lymphoma = climbing anxiety levels for me.
I don’t like talking about my history of depression and anxiety online. It’s a part of myself I share freely in person (and I’m sure my friends would sometimes like to bonk me over the head when I get wound up), but I don’t like talking about it here. At this point though, I have to write about it to get past it.
I’ve spent the last three weeks just trying to get through my days. Getting up. Going to work. Going to the gym. Eating healthy foods. Counting down the hours until I can crawl back into bed. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
This is the worst bout of it I’ve experienced in three years.
I’m thankful that school is over for the summer and that husband is incredibly supportive and understanding. I’m thankful for friends who understand as well. I’m thankful I discovered the inane stupidity of The Office on Netflix. I’m thankful today’s weather was beautiful and has allowed me to sit on the patio.
Most of the things I had planned for this summer are being cut. I’m probably not going to take up kayaking again until next summer. We canceled our vacation to Seattle. My plans to build and launch an informational/training site for admins is being revised. My plan to write some long blog postings for my portfolio site hasn’t materialized. My plan to establish an S corp for my part time job work hasn’t happened yet either. I’m trying really hard not to beat myself up over these items. There are only so many hours in a day and for years I’ve trying to cram too much into them.
The summer isn’t over yet. I do plan to enjoy the nice days. Hang out with Lucky. Go to the pool. Go see some movies. Have brunch with my friends. Spend time with husband. Laugh. Live. Enjoy.
So…my blog posting about depression and anxiety isn’t and is about depression and anxiety. This post will probably make sense only to me and maybe a few other people who are close to me in real life.
That’s ok. I just need to breathe and remind myself of the good things in life. This too, shall pass.
Thanks for indulging me.
Severe Thunderstorm Warning until 8 pm tonight; storms have potential for producing damaging winds.
While my friends in the area experienced actual thunderstorms last night, we only received high winds. While watching TV, we heard the wind sweep down the street and throw our community’s large trash and recycling cans around. We rushed outside and with our neighbor, moved the cans away from the cars and back to their home. While getting them situated, I noticed two bottles of chardonnay–one empty and the other halfway full–tucked behind where one of the cans stood. I picked them up and handed to them husband who emptied the half full one and then put both in the recycling. The three of us quickly rushed back inside to get away from the swirling dirt the wind kicked up.
After I sat back down on the couch, I realized the wine belonged to our neighbor’s wife. She sits on the curb by the cans in the evening (and sometimes mornings) and smokes while talking on the phone. We guessed that she also drank the wine stashed out there.
Sure enough, not five minutes later, the wife and neighbor walked out and checked the bins. We suppose they were looking for the bottles.
I have no issue with the smoking, curb sitting, phone talking, or wine drinking.
I do, however, have an issue with leaving the bottle outside.
Who does that?!?
Chardonnay should be chilled.